Why did it happen to me? Its 3:30 in the morning and my fart work me up. I couldn’t handle the smell and the stinky fucker wouldn’t leave. It just setup residence in my small basement bedroom. Maybe that is where the term squatter came from, who knows. I tossed and turned but it it would leave me.
What did I do to deserve this, could be be the the spicy chicken sandwich from Chick Fil A or the mix of beers before bed time. All I drank was Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Kirin, or the Guinness Extra Stout. I was wondering what his this silent but violent magic combination of toxicity that my ass was able to create.
If Doug-way Proving Grounds could get the magic recipe to my ass it this would be a whole new biological weapon. I was thinking if I could just hook the shop vac to my ass and bottle it this could be priceless. Especially if I can take gas a convert it back to a liquid and contain it, now that is magic.
So the mortal of the story is this, I didn’t get nap I wanted. I just got up to work to avoid any not so fresh feeling that I couldn’t control. My fart didn’t have lips it was a silent killer.