Why did it happen to me?  Its 3:30 in the morning and my fart work me up.  I couldn’t handle the smell and the stinky fucker wouldn’t leave.  It just setup residence in my small basement bedroom.  Maybe that is where the term squatter came from, who knows.  I tossed and turned but it it would leave me.

What did I do to deserve this, could be be the the spicy chicken sandwich from Chick Fil A or the mix of beers before bed time.  All I drank was Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Kirin, or the Guinness Extra Stout.  I was wondering what his this silent but violent magic combination of toxicity that my ass was able to create.

If Doug-way Proving Grounds could get the magic recipe to my ass it this would be a whole new biological weapon.  I was thinking if I could just hook the shop vac to my ass and bottle it this could be priceless.  Especially if I can take gas a convert it back to a liquid and contain it, now that is magic.

So the mortal of the story is this, I didn’t get nap I wanted. I just got up to work to avoid any not so fresh feeling that I couldn’t control. My fart didn’t have lips it was a silent killer.





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